Almost all of us get irritated and a little put with our friends occasionally.
It is not uncommon to meet with a group of friends and find that the gathering did not live to our expectations.
Expectations, by the way, account a large part of the unhappiness that the human race suffers.
Friends have different statuses. These statuses are unnamed, but studies show that most human beings are connected in one way or another about 150 people.
However, within this circle, most people have only about 15 people that really matter to them, and inside that group of 15, there are only about 3 to 5 who are truly friends. These 3 to 5 friends are the ones who worry us, and the ones with whom we have a reciprocal relationship.We normally overlook all the flaws of these true friends, and forgive them just about anything.
These are the people that we that we can be ourselves around, sound off to, worry out loud in front of, ask advice of and then not take it, complain about our family members and know that they won’t take it seriously, make a fuss about trivial things to, show our insecurities to, and not hold our pride when we want to congratulate ourselves.
Not too many people can put with all that, right? That might be why we only have a few real friends.
Now, our outer circles of 150 people are interesting persons and we like them, but in general, we can’t let it all hang out in front of them, because we might come as mentally ill or psychotic.
This outer circle group often has a variety of different personalities, and we keep friendships with them for many different reasons.
For example, it’s fun to have an ambitious person in your circle. This kind of high-achiever is attractive no matter what they look like. They are generally clear-thinking, competent, and energizing to be around. They are fun to go out .On the other hand, it is really nice to have an observer in your outer circle, if not in your inner circle. This type of personality is usually straightforward, wise and self-contained. Observers are personality types you can count .Almost every group of humans includes at least one person who loves to help others, a person who needs to be needed. These are people who act as helpers and are caring, generous and very good to have close to us. Helpers magically turn when they are most needed.Every group also has a questioner. They are usually nonconformists, direct and assertive, all of which are attractive qualities. Questioners are always interesting to hang with and have long talks with.You might enjoy having a self-disciplined and idealistic friend, as that kind of friend will unknowingly help you stick your diet and exercise routine. These friends are perfectionists and another thing they show us is that it’s not impossible to find time for volunteer work or something along that line.You probably have a peacemaker in one of your circles. Peacemakers are patient, diplomatic, open-minded and empathic; everything we know we should be but are not always able to be. A peacemaker friend is worth holding to.I admire people who assert themselves, and almost every group of people has at least one. Asserters are direct, authoritative, protective and self-confident, all qualities I sometimes wish I had more of. People generally look to asserters.Everyone knows at least one person who is touchy-feely. These physically affectionate people are compassionate, supportive, expressive and warm. Affectionate people see all that is beautiful in life and are usually creative and easy to get along .And last but not least are the adventurers. I love having a person who is an adventurer in my circle of friends. Adventurers are spontaneous, enthusiastic and curious. They need a lot of freedom and are never clingy. They are great people to call if you need cheering .Now you have learned to classify your friends, and if you are courageous, even yourself. Stay tuned the second part, which will tell you what kind of dynamics and reactions to expect when you put your friends, all who have different personality types, together.
Note: I thank Universal Pictures for inventing the Minions I have used to illustrate this text. Minions are animated creatures that have simple, cylindrical bodies and seemingly inexpressive faces that can express so much. Besides their facial expressiveness, they speak a fascinating language that is a mixture of gibberish, English, French, Spanish and Italian. Some call it Minionese.
Tattoos have been around for more than 5,000 years. Egyptians, for example, used tattoos to differentiate between peasants and slaves, a kind of social branding. But ink art, which is what some fans like to call tattooing, has really exploded in the past 25 years. But not all of us have succumbed to this fad. And many of us who don’t have a tattoo have a favorite mug. Having a tattoo or becoming attached to a mug are not dissimilar. According to research, 60% of Americans say they have an emotional attachment to a favorite mug. And about 40% said their special mug was irreplaceable, and about 1/3 of those said they would be devastated if it broke. Personally, I think that most of these people don’t have tattoos. Mugs and tattoos are both an extension of our personalities, and both express the way we would like the world to perceive us. That is not to mention, of course, that those of us who have tattoos or mugs are often irrationally attached to them.